I am grateful to be given the opportunity to repent my wrongdoings and to share with you my experience.
Deepest gratitude to the Great Merciful and Great Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Deepest gratitude to all the senior followers of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door!
My younger brother made a great effort to introduce the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door to me after he started practicing in June 2012. He recommended me to recite the Cundi Dharani, which helps one fulfil wishes, including performing well academically, under the blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva. Since I was about to take a CPA exam in October, I decided to give it a try. At the beginning, I was not diligent at all – I only recited the Cundi Dharani for several times and made some vows such as reciting 3 Little Houses, 3000 times of Guan Yin Bodhisattva’s holy name and spending 100 RMB in liberating lives. After my younger brother recited the Heart Sutra for me three times a day for a month (he told me afterwards), I started to perform daily recitation of scriptures and offer Little Houses. However, my faith in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door was not strong enough for me to be persistent in my practice. That did not change until February 2013, when I successfully got through Master Lu’s Totem hotline and received his guidance. He pointed out that there were foreign spirits on my joints and there were problems with my lower back. I was impressed by Master Lu’s accurate readings. I used to suffer from joint pain and nephrotic syndrome. He advised that I should recite the Eighty-eight Buddhas Great Repentance for three times per day and recite one to two Little Houses to my karmic creditors each day until a total of eighty-seven Little Houses were offered.
My father and I used to doubt the veracity of the Totem enquiry. I was so excited after the call and finally realized how ignorant I had been. From then on, my dad and I decided to dedicate ourselves to practice the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
I would like to share some inspirational experience first. One day in November 2013, I was having a business dinner with some senior staff members from my workplace. During the meal, they urged me to drink alcohol and it would be a breach of social protocol if I refused. In the meantime, I recited the holy name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva silently. After I recited it for three times, they started to talk about something else as if they had forgotten about persuading me to drink. Thanks to the mercy of Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Today I would like to take this opportunity to deeply repent my bad habits. I was ignorant of the consequences of my bad behaviour and as a result, I nearly lost my life. I would like to use my story to tell everyone about the karmic retribution of sexual misconduct.
I got into the bad habit of masturbation during the teen years. At the beginning, I found it embarrassing but I could not control myself. Some articles I read suggested that masturbation could help to release pressure. That became an excuse for me to continue doing this until I was diagnosed with nephritic syndrome in July 2011. I was only 25.
I had to stay in the hospital for a while. After being discharged, I took a lot of hormone medicine for three months, which led to a series of side effects: I started to gain weight and increase appetite. The glandular hair on my body grew longer and thicker and what was worse, I began to look like a man. Experiencing these negative effects, I stopped taking the medicine. When winter came, my joints were in too much pain for me to walk downstairs and to handle moderate lifting. My life seemed to be full of darkness. I tried some Chinese medicine but it was not effective, either. I felt like a disabled person because I easily got tired even if my job was not stressful. I used to be very athletic when I was in high school and in university and I won a lot of prizes in different sport events. Therefore, I could not accept the fact that my body was getting so weak. Now I realize I did deserve such karmic retributions as a result of my sexual misconduct.
After practicing Buddhism, I understood that masturbation was a bad habit so that I tried to abstain from it. Sometimes I was not able to control myself especially around mid-night, when I would continue the habit while half-asleep. After I woke up, I felt so guilty that I repented to Guan Yin Bodhisattva. After several times, I prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for helping me to terminate such a bad habit and the evil thoughts before reciting the Sri Devi Dharani. The effect was incredible! After reciting the Sri Devi Dharani for twenty-seven times per day for a month, I really got rid of the habit and I also passed the ‘dream tests’ (a ‘dream test’ is a test in the dream to see whether one complies with the vow he/she has made). I could not express how grateful I was to Guan Yin Bodhisattva who helped me to terminate such a bad habit that had last for more than ten years! I could not help crying when I am writing this!
Before practicing Buddhism, I had a lot of evil thoughts and detrimental habits although I appeared to be well behaved. I thought of killing people when I was in primary school. I found life meaningless and even considered committing suicide while studying in junior high school. Besides masturbation, I had many other damaging habits such as smoking, gambling, drinking and playing games obsessively. The Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door granted me a new lease on life. Though I owed my physical body to my parents, it is Master Lu who helps me attain wisdom.
I used to have a physical examination once a month because I was very worried about my physical condition. But after reciting eighty-seven Little Houses as advised by Master Lu, I felt that I regained my health and now I only go to the hospital once every three months to have regular physical examinations.
Experiencing such an amazing change, I introduced this wonderful practice to people around me. My mum’s oldest sister, who had mental disorders and needed to be taken care of at all times, has set up an altar and started practicing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Her mental condition has become much better than before. Even though she could not read much, she learnt to recite scriptures by listening to audio recordings. Having witnessed her impressive change, my mother and all her sisters are all practicing Buddhism now. I have also introduced the practice to my colleague, Xiao Liu, who dreamt about Guan Yin Bodhisattva on the night after reading the book ‘Introduction to Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door’. In the dream, Guan Yin Bodhisattva examined Xiao Liu’s Totem and instructed her to recite around fifty to sixty Little Houses.
During this more than a year’s practicing, I have got a lot of help from many kind-hearted senior followers around me. When I felt confused or fell behind in my practice, Guan Yin Bodhisattva would come to my dream, comfort me and examine my Totem. Receiving so much care and support, I commit myself to practicing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door with great determination and persistence, and the spread of such a wonderful practice to other people for the rest of my life.