I repent to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas ofmy lustful mind. When I see certain words, I couldn’t help but connect those words to lustful scenes. Lustful thoughts sometimes emerge from my mind and dreams. I feel very ashamed but also totally understand that it’s caused by the karmic retributions of what I have done in my previous lives.
I used to put blame on the external environment. For example, people around me always tell dirty jokes, or lustful images often emerge when I opened a webpage. Recently, I came to the realization that our external environment is indeed the result of our will power – that I have been constantly exposed to lustful information is the effect of a lustful mind.
I was very confused a while ago. It seemed to me that those lustful thoughts emerged after I started to practise Buddhism. At the time, I even found myself to be more in pain than I was before. Later on, I realised that those thoughts actually exist all the time. However, after practising Buddhism, I pay more attention to the behaviour of my mind. As a result, I notice those bad thoughts.
Since I started to practise Buddhism, I have been fighting with the lustful devil in my mind. Even though I am sometimes frustrated about my bad instincts, I try my best to calm down and not to be controlled by my negative emotions. I wish that those who have the same problem could be persistent in our practice in order to purify our mind and grow our wisdom.
I would like to extend my gratitude to Buddhism, which gives us the wisdom to distinguish goodness from evil, so that I could realize my shortcomings. I would also like to thank Guan Yin Bodhisattva for not giving up on me. I will be diligent in my Buddhist practice, and obtain ultimate happiness.
My deepest gratitude to Guan Yin Bodhisattva, to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, to Master Lu, and to all Buddhist practitioners!